Ok it started to get really lonely right now. I've been single for about a year since me and my girlfriend broke up (yeah you read it right). So right now I'm itching for a new romance. I'm joining the chatting scene again right now. There's a lot of bullshit there but I truly hope that I found somebody for me.

There's this one gorgeous guy that I've been eyeing for the last couple of months. Basically I 'met' him in the chatroom and actually we didn't hit it up right off the bat. He was not into me, and I found him quite a shallow person at that time. However, I keep his contact details, and I reached him again this morning and actually we did good. I don't want to rush things and play it cool. I hope he is the one.

I've been watching Sex in the City old episodes in the youtube, and I guess it bring out the relationship questions back to the surface.

There's another cafe guy that I've been salivating these days. He's shorter, has a cute face and a yummy body. He make me drinks every morning nowadays, and I secretly hope that he dipped his fingers accidentally into the drinks, so I can taste his essence. Lust is never hygiene anyways.

And this weekend I'm off 300 miles away for a rendezvous with a married man. Go figure!

OK. Usually the cafe guy always wear a head cover, coz I think that it is a regulation for food service people to cover their hair. However these last 2 or 3 days, I saw him without his head cover. He was so damn cute. His hair has been dyed to reddish light brown which I think complement his light complexion. We talked a lot these days, mostly about nothing. However there's a lil' bit problem. I started seeing him as friend. I mean, I've lost my lust for him. I don't really know whether its bad or good, but I think its ok.

Last week was my birthday, and my office mate planned a surprise party to my amazement. I think I am always being mean and serious to them, but they sure love this old dog. As a symbol of gratitude, I pinned the birthday card they gave me onto my cubicle wall, so every time I feel like being mean to them, at least I have some reason to be less cruel.

I severed all my myspace relationship coz I am started to feel that I can't fulfill their expectation. Better stop before anybody get hurt.

I really need to get into gym again coz I wanted to look like Ben from Make Me a Supermodel show. He's hot, and I envied his bod.

Lately I returned to my old habit: browsing men through myspace and chatting in gay chat rooms. To be honest, I just want to reach out to 'my kinds' out there. However, in chat rooms, all conversation leads to one thing: sex. Every chatters seems to have the same mission, which is to score an ass. Usually I was asked for one night stands, but I became kinda sick of all this shit.

I have a myspace account, a place where I put all my gay networks, and browse for hot men. To conceal my identity I put a faceless profile picture. Some say I'm dishonest, that I am a fraud, or that I am a coward for not revealing my true identity. It's simply I choose not to, its kinda my prerogative, kinda take it or leave it thing.

In myspace, I met this super cute guy (picture). He's 21 and he's totally my taste. But I guess my chance is pretty slim coz I'm sure he have hundreds of worshippers that are better than me. Nevertheless, we do contact each other, sending texts and stuff.

I got a chance to have a proper conversation with the cafe guy. He seems more matured than me. He told me that currently he live with the cafe workers in a house not far from here, and he has another house in the city where he live with a girlfriend. He seems nice though. Every time I see him, I try to remember his traits so I perhaps I can draw his portrait one day.

Today is the last day of 2007. I have no plan to celebrate since I'm pretty tired today. 2007 has been an OK year, so Ii hope that 2008 will be so much awesome.

I resolve that I will make full use of any potential I can get in 2008. I will live life to the fullest, be more positive in life and worry less. Man, that does sound like a tall order.A happy new year to you.

Well tomorrow is actually a holiday, and I'm suppose to be at home. I planned to. But one thing leads to another, and right now I'm still here. I planned to catch a bus after work but suddenly I got a call from my other boss that a student had somehow manage to break his hand, and since everyone else had already gone home, I was the only one left for the responsibility. Well actually, the Russian student broke one of his metatarsal bone, not the whole fibula or ulna which are the common case. So although it gets swollen and shit, it's not all messed up as what I imagine. I got him and his friend to the hospital, get them fixed and everything and guess what, we have another appointment next week. We arrive at the campus quite late coz we were stuck in the traffic jam due to the holiday rush. And I missed my bus. Hopefully I will get a tix tomorrow, or I'm going to be so pissed.

Well since today almost everyone had already illegally started their holidays, it was awfully quiet around here. To kill time, I played DotA (Defense of the Ancient) a role playing games, kind of a variant of mporg games. I only recently played the game, which I slowly master. During my college days, most of my friends choose playing DotA over attending classes. I know I got easily addicted to weird stuff so I avoided playing it. Its so nerdy but it's hella fun!

The new batman movie, geekily named, "The Dark Knight" will be coming out soon, and based on the trailer, I kinda dig it. I guess the new trend of making movie is making it as logical as possible, in the sense that the story line is coherent with the world today. Just to think about it, a disfigured person with a permanent smile etched on his face is too far fetched isn't it? Public are getting picky and spoon feeding irrelevant fantasy will just not going to cut it. The new joker is just a nameless psycho, which either brilliant or too simple. We'll have to wait for that I guess. The only thing that bug me is the casting of Maggie Gyllenhall as the leading lady, which I think is not hot enough. I don't deny that she has the talent, but she's not Maxim material. Think Jessica Alba, or Megan Fox.

As for the 'blown cover' incident this morning, nothing happened at the office today, which is cool, but I do still think that someone knew. Right now I'm surrendering to the fact that I can't hide it forever. On the other news, the cafe guy started a conversation with me. I know asking me if I had lunch will not be counted as a conversation, but he fucking talked to me first! All I can say at that moment was some silly comments about some chicks. Lame... I know.

My head is spinning again. Took 2 aspirins but apparently I'm beyond repair. Slept like a corpse today. I slept around 8am and woke up around (gasp!) 8.30pm. Went for a quick bite at the cafe. Had a lil' chat with the young cafe lady. That cute waiter guy was there. Actually my only intention to go to the cafe was to see the guy. He has a cute face, with a mole on the side of his chin , and posses a deep voice. He wore a thread line gold necklace, which made him distinctive from other people. If he only knew how much I want him.

After that I went online only to discover that the Manchester united game has already started, so I went to a restaurant with a big cable TV to watch it. I was on the chair edge most of the time and thankfully we beat Liverpool 1-0. That was pretty much my life today. What a boring life.

Lately, many old faces keep making cameo in my dreams. Just now it's I****r A****n the kid in school.The kid looks like the guy in the picture I found in myspace. I don't have any idea why and how. Other than that, I keep having this absurd violent dreams in my sleep. I am like a rabid wolverine, hitting everyone indiscriminately. Maybe its the pent up frustration I'm keeping. Frustration to what? I have no fucking clue.