It's been 6 months since I started dwelling the gym. Although my body shown some improvement, I'm way not satisfied, yet. I need bigger muscles.

Anyways, I started to take performance enhacement drug. They are not steroids (because steroids equals bitch tits), and the come in a very tiny hexagon shaped pill. The pill make my heart pumps a little bit faster so it can supply more blood for oxygen and nutrients. But I had only taken the pills for 2 days, so it's too early to say the effectiveness of the drug. If it dont work, I'll quit.

I'm still unlucky in the love section. There's a guy in the gym which I really fancy, and his name is Billy. He's really good looking and seems cool too. Maybe I'll lure him into my trap. Bahaha!

It's been a month since I joined the gym. Although its a hardwork, I totally enjoyed it. Now, there's something to wake up for each day. I put up a couple of pounds and my body is taking shape. Right now I have a goal, to get awesome chest and to get 6 packs abs (ok that's 2 but whatever).

On the other news, I came out to this one person I trusted the most. I've been calling her 'mom' for sometimes (she's not my real mom) and she's kinda a big deal around here. I couldn't sleep that night because I had this sick feeling in my tummy the whole night. Half of me regret it and half of me says who cares. She's OK with it.

Oh, I've been stalking this guy for sometimes. He's a soccer player and I bet he's a typical jerk jock. But he's hot. Too hot.

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time

Ok it started to get really lonely right now. I've been single for about a year since me and my girlfriend broke up (yeah you read it right). So right now I'm itching for a new romance. I'm joining the chatting scene again right now. There's a lot of bullshit there but I truly hope that I found somebody for me.

There's this one gorgeous guy that I've been eyeing for the last couple of months. Basically I 'met' him in the chatroom and actually we didn't hit it up right off the bat. He was not into me, and I found him quite a shallow person at that time. However, I keep his contact details, and I reached him again this morning and actually we did good. I don't want to rush things and play it cool. I hope he is the one.

I've been watching Sex in the City old episodes in the youtube, and I guess it bring out the relationship questions back to the surface.

There's another cafe guy that I've been salivating these days. He's shorter, has a cute face and a yummy body. He make me drinks every morning nowadays, and I secretly hope that he dipped his fingers accidentally into the drinks, so I can taste his essence. Lust is never hygiene anyways.

And this weekend I'm off 300 miles away for a rendezvous with a married man. Go figure!

I always said to my potential dates that I don't fuck my friends. Most of it because of my perception to them totally changed from a introduced strangers, into a blood-related like brotherly ties. However, in this case I'm not totally honest. Yes, I had had some crush of my closed knitted friends. First it was MHAR a schoolmate. Even though he was more like a pet-brother, I personally think that he was my first love. Then, it was MTI, a friend from the school days. He was the star of the schools soccer team. Back then he personified what I would like to become, popular (although I think I'm popular enough back then... ha), dashingly good looking and respected.

Then there came college, where I was head over heels for this guy, MSAR, a recreational club mate. He's a damn hot boy, and he knows it. After that I fell for SAAH my team mate. He is extra-ordinarily good looking, so hot, he attracted a lot of attention. Eventually, we kinda felt weird coz we were like more than friends, and our male ego turned auto-pilot, and we drifted apart. Once I felt his breath blowing on me, and it was like a new soul bestowed on me.

Right now, I think I'm more open to the idea of my Mr. Right. He might be my friends or any strangers, I'll take what I can get. LOL